Love for Leah | By Jenny Fujinami

Love for Leah Bags; Not every mom and dad get lasting memories when they lose their child.  Some parents only get a blanket and footprints stamped on a piece of paper. There is so much more that can be done to perserve every moment. Carolyn and I had the same idea, because a lot of times parents receive nothing at all during this loss.

I knew our entire pregnancy that Leah had a 1% survival rate. We knew that we wanted to give Leah every chance to survive and to know our love for her and the love of those around us for her. After many doctor appointments and still no hope I realized that I needed to plan the little time that I would have with her after birth. I began reading books about things that we could do that would create lasting memories. The one thing that I wanted was to take Leah home and if I couldn’t, then I would take home all memories that I could. I knew I wanted hand and feet prints, a lock of hair, pictures, and little things. I soon discovered that it can be deeper than hand and foot moldings and several locks of hair. I had bought everything that we would need, and I still was not prepared for the devastating loss of Leah passing. We thought she would at least make it through birth.

I received a brochure on NILMDTS and contacted Carolyn Spranger. This was amazing that I did not have to worry about having a family member take pictures. Carolyn with her magical pictures can captured every moment, every feeling, and every detail we did not want to ever forget.   I received plaster molding kits for Leah’s hands and feet which show every piece of her hand, every line, nail, and I can put finger in the palm of her hand. I planned for how many locks of hair I wanted. I had blankets picked out for Leah. One that I would catch her in and pull her onto my chest, another a bright pink blanket that she would be wrapped in, and then a final one she would go to the funeral home in. I had outfits for her; the one she would wear while we had her and the one she would leave in. In talking with a friend of mine I became terrified of the funeral home changing her clothes, so my friend changed her clothes the 2nd time and we kept the main outfit she wore.  I still have not washed this outfit because it smells like Leah and that is a memory I don’t want to lose and I would have if I did not have another outfit with us.

Many women are completely caught off guard when they lose a baby.  Love for Leah bags are the items that will bring so much comfort and healing after this loss. They are items that Carolyn and I thought of for them, because those moments after they receive the devastating news aren’t moments they will be thinking of where to buy a hand casting, outfit, or urn necklace. To see Leah’s casting on the dresser means so much to me, it is a part of her that is still with me. I can touch and feel them. The pictures; I look at them and I see my beautiful daughter.

Losing a child is one of the worst pains that any parent can feel. Losing Leah was life changing and I miss her everyday. I am very grateful that I have the items I do. Carolyn and I want to make sure that every parent in this situation has the items in these bags to help and comfort them.

-Jenny

2 thoughts on “Love for Leah | By Jenny Fujinami

  1. My heart goes out to you and your family. I know the pain of losing a baby and wish I had something like NILMDTS back then. I only have a lock of my baby’s hair and two pictures of us together. Thank you and Carolyn for sharing this and reaching out to other mothers going through the same. God bless you all.

  2. Jenny, I worked with Katie for a long time at Target. When I first heard your story we were on our way down to visit our friend Juliana, and my heart just went out to you. The strength that you and your family have shown throughout this process is amazing and you are an inspiration to so many people who give up at that small number. May you only have light and happiness from here out.

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